Two of the Best and Two of the Worst
by Trynia Merin
Summary: Newly edited! Danger Mouse and Penfold are the latest victims of a new alliance between Greenback and an american criminal Cam EleonRex, so he goes missing from the latest episode! Can Agent M6 Lori L'amour and her partner Bagel find them in time?
1. Episode 1 Agent M6

Disclaimer: Danger Mouse and characters are property of Cosgrove/Hall productions, and I don't own them. This fiction and the characters of M6 Lori Lamoure and her assistant and other craziness the other side of the pond is my own insanity, property of me, Trynia Merin. As of 7/13/2008, this fan fiction has been extensively overhauled and checked for grammar and continuity.

**Two of the Best and Two of the Worst**

Prologue

By Trynia Merin

* * *

_Opening Theme, as usual._

_Danger Mouse, Danger Mouse… DANGERMOUSE…._

_When the bomb explodes over the logo, the title card is seen, with the following logo: Two_ of the Best, Two of the worst, Part 1

Narrator: _**Due to technical difficulties, we start this episode across the pond, due to the current unavailability of Danger Mouse and his assistant…**_

_New York, a City filled with every culture on earth. A cosmopolitan wonder packed with ten million souls, each trying to take a bite of the big apple. Mother of freedom and the American Dream, home to Lady Liberty and Broadway. Home of performers and singers, and agents, one of which if you drop a brick you'd hit one, but we don't' recommend you do that please…._

_Nevertheless, New York is ALSO home to one of the heroes of the Free World. A hero whose recent derring-do has caught the eye of her superiors in the RATS, Rodent Agents Technological Society, a covert branch of Intel. She is one of their best agents, who preserve freedom from the slimy belly of the criminal underworld, from her small penthouse postbox in the grand post office._

_Here with her assistant, Bagel Zingerwitz, she is constantly attenuated to evil, and the occasional wayward door-to-door sales representatives. Blessed with special abilities granted her by the miracles of modern science, she has been transformed into an agent of justice. Her name is M6-Trialmouse, known to Lori Lamoure in private life. Retired singer and circus trapeze performer. Moreover, today, she has been promoted to Agent First class, the M line. Not to mention she is about to embark on one of the most intriguing mysteries of her career, when she will unwittingly join forces with one of the best secret agents in the free world, across the pond. However, I get ahead of myself here… I'm just the narrator!_

_Let us visit her typical morning in her post office box, tucked away on a top level, and see her in action. The peak of feminine mouse fitness… as her assistant makes breakfast and writes the next chapter of her biography…_

"One, two, three, four," Lori counted as she balanced on one hand. She closed her eyes and continued to count in French as she often did for her morning meditation.

"Sis, I think you'd better cool it. You haven't touched breakfast," Bagel said. A small attractive hamster, she was in the process of tying the pink bow over each ear that she customarily wore. She was a golden tan, much like a toasted breakfast food, and hence her name Bagel.

"Bagel, I am busy finding my center," Lori said as she continued to balance on one hand. "The nourishment of the body can wait, while the enemies of the free world will not… to strike terror in the hearts of all innocents."

"You're sounding MORE and more like a comic book every day," Bagel laughed as she set down a pot of freshly made coffee and whole-wheat toast, topped with peanut butter and jelly before Lori.

Swinging down with her tail, the mouse secret agent balanced the plate neatly; tossing it into her, other hand as a pair of lovely pink eyes fluttered open. Like most albino mice, Agent M6 had pink eyes and soft white fur. However, she had her blond hair tied back in a neat bun, up out of her eyes as she meditated. Her pink fingernails were painted a ruby red, durable, and strong as she moved the toast to her mouth and began to eat. Using her tail, she tipped the cup of steaming java to her lips and sipped it, all the while focusing on her wide-screen TV.

"You can't even eat breakfast at a proper table; just WHAT am I going to do to you?" Bagel asked, with a mock tone of irritation.

"You should try this. It builds character," Lori smiled as she finished the rest of her whole-wheat toast, and her coffee, all the while maintaining perfect balance. The white jogging suit with the blue piping was the high tech uniform she often wore on duty, when not going undercover. A small M-6 logo was neatly stitched over one breast, while her boots were a soft blue, to match the blue piping down either arm or leg.

Bagel remembered many a time trying to stitch the thing back together after a particularly dangerous mission.

"Speaking of character building," Bagel said, as a chiming chirp interrupted her, and she almost rattled the coffee tray she carried. "Drat… and I was JUST about to start on volume 2 of your great exploits."

"Worry not, Bagel, my sis," she laughed as she cart wheeled overhead, placing the empty plate and coffee cup onto Bagel's extended tray. She landed on her feet nimbly, and punched the intercom button to get the video message.

"Agent M6, you there?"

"Well I answered the call, didn't I JP, what's up?" she asked.

"I've got a very special mission for you. Moreover, since you're the number one rated rodent agent for R.A.T.S, you've been chosen for a special liaison session, top secret. Apparently Mum's the word."

"Another mission?" Bagel asked. "Should I pack the zoom lens with the extra secret equipment, or do we get some new stuff from P?"

"Dr. P's got a package on the way, M6," said JP, as he shifted his glasses on the bridge of his nose, and nibbled nervously. He was a jolly guinea pig, all red and brown spots, and Bagel sometimes wondered if he moved from behind his desk. However as the camera drew back, she chuckled as she saw the sizable guinea pig sweating on an excursive bike.

"Not you too," Bagel laughed as she saw him in exercise togs, puffing away.

"Suzy insisted that I lose… some ounces," he mumbled. "Anyway, Agent assistant Zingerwitz, you'll be accompanying her on this mission as you usually do, but be careful if you two would suddenly get separated."

"We're inseparable," laughed Bagel. "Right Sis?"

"That's true. The unstoppable duo," said Lori.

Over the screen their control announced, "M-6, you should prepare for the worst. Apparently this mission will send you abroad to England."

"England?" she asked, raising a soft eyebrow. "I thought the MI6 were taking care of stuff across the pond."

"One of their top agents is on the job. And that agent needs help. Not to mention you're the best qualified. Apparently, Chameleon has a new ally, a deadly one. And in the interests of national security, and maintaining ties with England, we are sending you to investigate."

"Where?" Bagel asked. "I need to know if I need a change of clothes… or at least a toothbrush."

"Just a sec," Agent M6 held a finger to her lips. "Look, I don't see why they can't handle it."

"It's an urgent matter. Believe me, it isn't a silly contest, but a favor to an old friend. Moreover, this agent may VERY well need your help. After all, you are the expert on the master of disguise, and he's the expert in his field."

"He?" grinned Bagel. "A male agent? Like a James Bond type?"

"Get ready to leave as soon as possible. We'll brief you on the way, and P will meet you with the latest."  
"Right away sir," she nodded. "Over and out!"

Bagel turned to Lori, who had an amused look on her pale face. Brushing a tendril of blond hair from her long nose she said, "Pack the essentials, we're going to England!"

"I wonder who this other agent is, that you'll be working with," Bagel said with a suspicious smile. From the gleam in her gaze, Lori could see the matchmaking wheels turning in her assistant's head.

"Don't you get any ideas, you hear," Lori said, giving her a stare. "I'm not going to have you fixing me up on some blind date…"

Bagel shot the look back, mimicking Lori's stance by folding her short arms across her sweatered chest. She huffed, "You COULD use a date now and again."

"I don't see you rushing off to marry soon," smiled Lori teasingly. "The last match made wasn't quite…"

"Bubbie's losing her touch, but don't let her hear YOU say that. She has a very special one planned for you, my closest friend."

"That will have to wait. We're going to England," Lori said as Bagel began to rush around and start packing. In the blink of an eye, she had her equipment together, and Lori grabbed her assistant's hand, whisking her to the secret exit behind the bookcase. They slid down the poles, and landed on the rocket-powered skate that P had made to spirit them to their small rocket cycle, the Gail V. Soon they were rocketing off toward the airport of Central City, and their rendezvous with P.

* * *

As they rocketed up to the airport, they glanced around. M6 climbed off the cycle, and Bagel took her fingers out of her ears that she had slipped under the helmet. She hated the sound of the cycle, and huddled in the sidecar.

"Is it safe?" Bagel glanced up at Lori, straightening her gasses.

"It is. Now, what is P going to try his hand at this time?"

She turned bout, her pink eyes focusing as her whiskers twitched, and the tip of her long tail swished impatiently. "Lori, how on EARTH are we getting there? I mean I presume we're waiting for a plane."

"That's what I was wondering. Since JP didn't make reservations, I'm thinking there's another way we're getting there."

"M6?" asked a wheezing voice. They spun around to see a squirrel limping up, his leg in a cast as he hobbled up with the aid of crutches.

"P! What on EARTH happened to you?" Bagel gasped.

"One of M2's inventions that he was testing," he sighed, pushing up his glasses and fishing in his pocket. "I've got something very state-of-the-art for you… and PLEASE try to return it with the MINIMUM of damage this time, M6."

"Do I ever not?" she asked with cocked eyebrow. Bagel began to giggle, hiding her mirth behind one hand.

"Shhh," she hissed at her friend who was still trying to contain herself.

"First, here is the standard rope belt, with grapple. Your last one wore out. Also for your assistant, here's the latest spy camera. Don't' break it, and don't touch the red button unless you're going to be attacked by crocodiles?"

"Crocodiles?" Bagel grinned. "Get real!"

"Well, you never know," said P. "And here is the latest… I have your method of transport right here."

"I hope its first class tickets on British air," Bagel whispered to Lori, who shushed her again with a finger held before her lips. The inventor pawed through his pockets and fished out a gleaming metallic bracelet. Calmly Lori took it from him and turned it over in her hands with a critical eye.

"Looks like a remote control," said M6. "On a common wrist watch."

Slightly put out, P snatched the gadget back from her. Huffily he announced, "Our department's been working on one of these for YEARS. Since you're a class 1 agent now, none should be without this..."

So saying he pressed a stud on the side of the dial face. Out of the empty air around them a loud engine sounded. The next second they saw a blue streak go by, stopping with a screech of tires. From beneath the wheels a cloud of dust kicked up, shortly obscuring their view of the object in question, while causing Bagel to cough spasmodically.

"Wow, a sports car?" Lori laughed. "This is sweet."

"How is THAT going to help get us there, unless it's a convertible canoe?" Bagel said. "At least the color scheme matches your outfit Lori."

"Introducing the Gail VI, the latest in secret agent technology. We even had a few design specs across the pond…" P said with a slow smile of pride. His slight British accent was evident that he had spent an amount of time as a Boffin for the British Secret Service.

"Well P, I hope it has… travel insurance,' Lori said, scratching her large pink ears as she walked around and saw the blue powder interior. It was sleek and streamlined a jet blue, with a red racing stripe and the logo Gail VI on it.

"Press THIS button, and you get a speedboat. This one has jumpers and this button here… F… that's for flying."

"A flying car?" said Bagel. "Now you're talking… except… um… I'm uh… afraid to fly."

"There's B for an airsick bag," said P, meaningfully looking at Bagel.

"Hey," she said. "I didn't mean…"

"Don't worry; I took the crash course in flying cars at Secret Agent refresher. I just wonder why I didn't get one of these babies before," Lori asked as she leapt behind the wheel. Bagel looked nervously at the car, before tossing the bags into the trunk.

P announced importantly, "It's a top privilege. Since you're recently in the M class of RATS agents, this is yours to keep. But DO try to bring it back in one piece."

"C'mon Bagel, let's go," M6 urged as Bagel warily circled the car at a safe distance.

"Uh uh… flying British air is ONE thing I might be able to hack, but in a CAR?" Lori's hamster assistant shook her head. "No way!"

"It is equipped with the latest, a mini fridge… and a cooler," P nodded. "And digital satellite TV for your in-flight movie…"

"Uh uh no way," Bagel shook her head as Lori fired up the engine. Suddenly her tail telescoped out and wrapped around her timid assistant, sweeping her into the front seat next to her.

"OH RATS!" Bagel shrieked as she clung to the seat and the car suddenly roared off down the runway.

All of a sudden, Lori hit the F button, and the canopy shot over top. Air hissed in the cabin pressurizing before she saw wings emerge, and the car suddenly took flight. Bagel felt her stomach jolt up into her throat one moment only to plunk down when she felt the car landing. Her fingernails dug into the armrest while she realized they had again landed to her relief. Carefully Lori guided the Gail 6 to stop just inches from where P stood. With an electronic whir, the window rolled down, and Lori winced as she saw the gleaming ice covering the singed squirrel hobbling on his crutches.

Professor P cleared his throat and said, "And do say hello to my old mate, Colonel K if you see him."

"Who's Colonel K?" asked Bagel.

"Old chum of mine. Used to be a Boffin for him a few years back," the squirrel sighed nostalgically, a hint of a British accent still present in his voice.

"We will," M6 promised. "Hang on; we're in for a long flight, Bagel."

"What button is for the powder room?" asked Bagel.

"P," said Lori.

"That's what I'll do to him, flush him down one!" Bagel grumbled. "You'd better get the B button ready, because that's what I'm about to do."

"Uh oh, don't get it on the upholstery," Lori said as Bagel turned green, and she hit the button. Poor P happened to be caught in the exhaust trail, and froze solid stiff. Ice crackled from around his neck when he turned it to watch as the jet streaked off to England, across the Atlantic Ocean.

* * *

Cam Eleon-Rex gave a slow smile as he straightened his ascot, and turned around. Everything was going according to plan, with his new ally. He looked down to see a small white furry caterpillar blowing him a raspberry, and he responded with a long flick of his tongue in kind. Just in front of a massive desk he stood, his slender body clothed in a plaid suit. The next second it blurred, changing into black and yellow vertical stripes.

"I do hope your MASTER is more amicable," he said, suddenly taking on a white appearance.

"Do pardon my pets exuberance," said a low wheezing voice. Cam Eleon-Rex turned and looked at the large toad that had entered, leaning on his pearl-headed cane.

"Are the threats to our world domination neutralized?" asked Eleon-Rex, tugging at his lapels as he turned a shade of green, the same as his toad companion.

"Indeed. There is precious little that will halt you here in England," he said. "You are under MY protection with full diplomatic immunity… to wreak havoc."

"That's right, Baron. I could not have devised this scheme without your resources, Baron," said Cam Elion-Rex with a slow grin as his orbs focused. "However, do remember I am the evil genius behind the Agent Snare."

Greenback lumbered across the floor, then lowered himself to sit behind the massive desk. Settling himself in he ran his hand down the back of his furry companion Nero. "Undoubtedly. I will ensure that Greenback Industries gets them up and running for ALL the evil villains who are plagued by secret agents. How fitting it should be tested on my old enemy," said the Baron with a laugh. His hands ran over the crackling paper of a set of blueprints spread out on the desk before him.

"And there is NOTHING that the fools in RATS will do, once they see my--pardon OUR invention-- makes MINCEMEAT of your old enemy," the chameleon continued. He leaned one elbow on the desk casually, his face only two feet from Baron Greenback's.

"Eh, Baroni!" croaked a voice from across the room.

A huge GB decorated the wall behind the Baron's desk, further along from blinking control panels and video screens indicating distant video feeds from all the Baron's spy robots. Underfoot the glossy tiled floor showed a slightly blurred reflection of the desk and its occupants. An access to the main room of the Baron's hideout was controlled by electronic double doors twenty feet from where the desk stood. Roughly hexagonal in shape, the chamber soared to a height of at least fifty feet and harsh spotlights gleamed down from above to cast the various electronic components in its light. Crates half-unpacked sat amidst canvas-covered shapes the size of small cars. On them were painted the initials CMR Inc.

"What is it Stiletto? How DARE you interrupt my evil plotting," Greenback hissed in anger as he spun about in his swivel chair.

From the far door of the tall metallic chamber, a crow wearing a long grey trench coat wrung his hands. Nervously he approached the left side of the Baron's desk. He stammered in his Italian accent, "Pardoni Baroni, but it's-a… its HIM… the White wonder."

"Ahh, right on time," smiled the Baron with a wicked grin, as he rubbed his hands together. Nero hopped on his boss's shoulder, cooing and laughing in caterpillars.

"So, we shall SEE my traps in action," Eleon-Rex nodded. "This is an appropriate time for a celebration… may I suggest mutual maniacal laughter?"

Baron Greenback nodded, his bulbous eyes turning towards his hench-bird. "Indeed. Stiletto, get everything ready."

"Si Barony," Stiletto nodded, laughing as he rubbed his black hands together, and hopped off to make the Agent Trap, patent pending Rex/GB industries into action.

"HAHHAHHAHAH!" the two villains laughed together for a time, before Baron Greenback began to wheeze and cough a bit.

"Might I suggest some of my patent pending Vilanvite tonic?" asked Rex as he handed a bottle to the Baron. Reaching out with one hand, he seized the vessel, turning it over.

"Not a bad idea," the Baron glanced at the bottle. "What is its use?"

"It's a special vitamin formula. Just in case, your subject should find a way OUT of my trap, which I suspect he won't, you'll have the BEST and most personal chance to add your own treacherous mark to the fun."

"Hmm, especially good for bashing secret agents, and other goodie goodies," the Baron read on the label. He smiled wickedly and placed the bottle on his table. "Perhaps later… but are you INTENDING your traps should fail?"

"Not at all, Baron," he said with a sly smile. "I simply wouldn't want you to MISS the fun when we watch the destruction of the world's greatest pain in the tail."

"Ah yes, the FINAL end to Danger Mouse!" the Baron laughed.

_Narrator Isenbard: Will Danger Mouse EVER appear in his own series again, or is he about to become mouse food for the new Greenback/Cam Elion consortium patent pending Agent trap? Can the two American agents hired by Col. K help our duo, or will it be up to them to save the world alone?_


	2. Episode 2 Assistant Bagel

Disclaimer: Danger Mouse and characters are property of Cosgrove/Hall productions, and I don't own them. This fiction and the characters of M6 Lori Lamoure and her assistant and other craziness the other side of the pond is my own insanity, property of me, Trynia Merin. This is the revised version as of 7/13/2008

**Two of the Best and Two of the Worst**

By Trynia Merin

Chapter 1

_Opening Theme, as usual._

_Danger Mouse, Danger Mouse… DANGER MOUSE…._

_When the bomb explodes over the logo, the title card is seen, with the following logo:_** Two of the Best and Two of the Worst, **Part 2

_Narrator: In our last episode, DM and Penfold had gone missing, so Agent M6 and her assistant Bagel were instructed by their informant to find the two missing agents, with a warning… They were to contact Colonel K, or wait for him when they arrived at the Mayfair Pillar box that serves as the White Wonder's HQ… in London…__Will Danger Mouse EVER appear in his own series again, or is he about to become mouse food for the new Greenback/Cam Elion consortium patent pending Agent trap? In addition, can these two female agents warn him in time, or will they have to rescue our heroes?_

Bagel had finally stopped squirming by the time they were halfway across the Atlantic. She fanned her face with the paper fan she had constructed, and glanced over at Lori, who had hit the A button for automatic pilot.

"You okay sis?" asked Lori, handing her friend another B bag that the B button had provided.

"I think… I left my stomach behind!" gulped her assistant.

"Easy, we're halfway there," she said, and pressed the W button. Immediately a robotic hand reached into the small cooler in the back compartment and drew out a bottle of spring water, dropping it into Bagel's lap.

"Just WHO is this agent we're supposed to work with?" Bagel groaned as she sipped on the mineral water. "Oy, my stomach is ready to do a summersault again!"

"Hmm, I'm tapping into the main computer now," she said, pressing the C button. A small view screen buzzed into life, and she glanced at the dossier that said Top Secret. "Agent M6 reporting. Can you give me any information on my latest mission?"

"Affirmative," said the crime computer. "Cross referencing M6… your latest mission, should you choose to accept it involves the Rex/GB consortium."

"Rex has a business partner?" asked Lori slowly. The Videocon buzzed and she saw JP's image come over loud and clear. This time he sat behind a sleek modern desk, piled high with documents.

"Ah there you are," he said. "These transatlantic calls are a bugger to make. Agent M6, I see you've gotten in touch with P for your new vehicle."

"I love it Sir, but could you please tell me where I'm supposed to land, and just WHO I'm going to be working with?"

"Have you ever heard of the White Wonder?" asked JP.

"White wonder?" said Lori with a narrowing of her pink eyes. "You can't mean…"

"Duh, he means Agent DM, as in Danger Mouse," said Bagel. "Even I know that, and I'm a rookie."

"I knew what he meant, Bagel," Lori rolled her eyes. "If he's the world's greatest secret agent, what does he need MY help for?"

"Because you're our best agent. Also the fact that Cam Elion-Rex is claiming diplomatic immunity. If you have ANY hope of arresting him, you MUST do so with the help of Danger Mouse."

"Diplomatic immunity, how on EARTH did he weasel through that?" demanded Lori, her flattened hand slapping against the steering wheel.

"You know how slippery he is… he's under the protection of a nasty villain, who has been known to make problems Stateside. His name's Baron Silas Greenback… and he's apparently hired Rex to design the ultimate agent trap…"

"Oy vey," Bagel groaned. "And Danger Mouse is the test subject?"

"Exactly," said JP. "And you MUST warn Danger Mouse. Both of you. And you must work together to stop this twin threat to the civilized world!"

"But does Agent Danger Mouse KNOW he's got two American agents to help him?" asked Lori. "From what I gather, he tends to prefer working alone."

"Agent M6, he's been briefed that he'll receive help. Just when and where that help arrives depends on you. My associate Colonel K has told me that they've lost track of Danger Mouse and his assistant two hours ago… and that's why you're being sent to his secret HQ to see if there are any clues to his disappearance."

"Great," Lori sighed, tossing her head in disgust. "He needs US women to pull his tail outta the fire… all right… I'll need all the information I can get on them. Both him and his assistant."

"We can give you the coordinates of his secret hideout in London. Then you'll have to wait for Colonel K himself to give you the next set of info. Good luck, and DO try to see this as an educational experience," JP urged.

"All right sir," Lori relented.

"Wow, working with a big name like DANGER MOUSE, you lucky gal!" she laughed, nudging Lori.

"Oh please," growled Lori, causing Bagel to lean away quickly. "Don't EVEN get my started!"

"Why are you so annoyed?" asked Bagel. "I'd be CRAZY to be annoyed working with a legend like him!"

"He's totally arrogant," the American agent sniffed dismissively, her nose stuck up in the air. Her assistant fought the urge to point out how the pot was suddenly calling the kettle black. Judging by Lori's mood, she knew it was akin to throwing gasoline on a fire.

"You haven't met him even and you've got your mind made up?" Bagel said, glancing at her friend as if she were nuts.

"There's a reason for it. You see, it somewhat um, takes place a while ago. With one of my cousins in France."

"Which one?" she asked.

"Um apparently my cousin, who is a well known popular opera singer. She um… well... had the misfortune of becoming involved in one of Danger Mouse's missions. And for all her help, she was um… turned down."

"How so?" Bagel asked, flinching as she anticipated the answer. Judging from the way her superior's voice raised in volume it wasn't going to be pleasant.

"The secret agent business can bring out the best and worst in people. They had a… fling… and well, he never returned her calls."

"So you're saying your aunt had a Jones on Danger Mouse, and she got dumped?" asked Bagel with a giggle. "But surely he must have had a reason. I mean your cousin isn't exactly the EASIEST to get along with."

"No, but he broke her heart," said Lori angrily, her pink eyes gleaming almost ruby red. "My cousin was never the same. And she's buried herself in her performing career, and hardly EVER goes on tour anymore because of him."

"Which cousin?"

"Fifi Lamoure," said Lori with a sigh.

"Wow, she's one of the BEST pop stars out there," said Bagel with admiration. "I have ALL her albums… you mean HER and DM…"

"Yes," nodded Lori. "Blood is thicker than water, Bagel. And once this mission is done, I will personally box his ears."

"Hmm, remind me not to get you on a bad day," Bagel muttered slowly.

* * *

Three hours after they received the coordinates, Lori pulled the Gail VI into a holding pattern over London. She glanced at Bagel, who kept an airsick bag by her nose. The poor hamster, who was normally a shade of toast brown was now a sick green as she struggled not to barf again as Lori made a course correction, and spiraled down toward London.

"There's Big Ben, and Parliament," said Lori.

"Wow," Bagel groaned, as she held her stomach and Lori brought the flying car down towards a group of buildings. She saw the sign Baker Street and half chuckled when Lori retracted the wings of the car and pulled up to the spot where JP had given her the address.

"Okay, so WHERE does this Danger Mouse live?" Bagel asked.

"Hmm, Mayfair… and a mailbox?" asked Lori, glancing up as she pulled the Gail VI convertible to a stop by the curb. Bagel giggled and shook her head.

"Well isn't it obvious?" she laughed. "If I didn't know better that was some new fangled trash can."

"Bagel it's a mailbox. What the British call a postbox. Look, don't tell me you're going to need the airsick bag AGAIN?"

"As long as I'm on solid ground, or pavement I'm fine," Bagel gasped her green hue turning a shade of toast brown as the young girl hamster breathed deeply. "I don't' suppose there's a doorbell on a post box is there?"

"Hmm," Lori muttered, and glanced at the computer. There was a secret harmonic code, and she punched it slowly. A small section of the curb lifted up, and she slowly backed the car into the yawning blackness. Bagel glanced up anxiously as they pulled into a large ultramodern garage, and Lori saw the section of curb swing down again closing them inside.

"Nice digs," said Bagel. "Now how do we get up?"

"There's an elevator I think," she mumbled as she glanced up, and slowly flipped up out of the car with a graceful summersault. She sent her telescopic tail down, and slipped it around Bagel's waist, pulling her assistant up quickly to sit beside her. Pressing yet another control at the side of the sofa, Bagel groaned as it began to shoot up at tremendous speed.

"Oy gevalt!" Bagel groaned as she grabbed the airsick bag and shoved it over her nose. As they slid up into a circular room, Lori looked around, with a low mumble of appreciation.

"Some people have ALL the luck," she mumbled as she looked at the apartment.

"Wow, oh wow," Bagel mumbled, glancing around. Both found themselves sitting on a circular couch, recessed into the floor. Twin statues flanked a large video screen set into the wall. Two sets of stairs curved up and around into two directions, and Lori slowly took stock of the apartment.

They glanced around, and Bagel wandered off to see the furniture, seeing no dust with a careful eye. Lori slowly wandered from room to room, wondering if there would be a picture of her cousin Fifi in SOME location that indicated that Dangermouse had SOME lasting affection for her.

Bagel, noticing her friend's pensive silence said, "Sis, what's wrong?"

"What makes you think something is wrong?" the female mouse responded.

"Because you are quiet… as a mouse."

"You're as nosy as a hamster," mumbled Lori.

"What's the DEAL like with your cousin and Dangermouse?" she asked.

"I told you he broke her heart," said Lori quickly.

"Well, maybe he had a REASON… like maybe he's SORRY for what happened… I mean he IS an honorable mouse from what I remember hearing in Assistant school."

"Mmm," Lori mumbled, unconvinced as she saw some pictures lying around. There were a few of the White Wonder, with a patch over one eye, and she had to admit he was handsome. Next to him stood a small hamster with glasses and a blue suit, and striped tie. Bagel smiled as she picked up the photo, and said, "He's rather cute…"

"Hmm," Lori mumbled. "That's what SHE thought."

"I didn't' just mean Danger Mouse, I mean this little guy… he's kind of cute," Bagel pointed to the hamster. "Is he the assistant?"

"Don't know," said Lori. "I wonder WHAT we're doing here."

"You're not going to look into his private STUFF are you?" she asked. Lori mumbled and shook her head.

"Doesn't seem like he MISSES her all that much."

"Are you kidding me? Look at this," Bagel said, rushing over to the large stereo, and pulling out a stack of CD's. Fifi Lamoure was well represented, and Lori mumbled as Bagel tugged her over.

"So, he's pining," she mumbled.

"And look at THIS," she said. A small picture fell out of the stack of CD's, and it was personally autographed.

"Hmm," said Lori.

"Just HOW long ago did she give you the lowdown on her broken heart?" asked Bagel suspiciously.

"I visited France years ago with my mom and dad, when we were reunited," she said slowly. "My dad Hercule was visiting her sister and my cousins… Fifi was the oldest, and then there was Henri, and Gigi."

"And it was THEN she gave you the sob story?" asked Bagel.

"Well it had JUST happened," said Lori slowly. "And I had just joined the RATS in the footsteps of my father Hercule Lamoure. He was SO proud of me."

"So that's why you were raised by the circus, because your dad was a secret agent?"

"Him and my mom were both the best," she said. "When they were in the Canadian branch… they HAD to give me up for adoption because they were presumed lost on a mission… imagine how mad I was to find out they were alive. But I got over it."

"You talked to Fifi since that visit ten years ago?"

"We didn't keep in touch that often," said Lori. "Although from what I heard, from my Aunt, she was having a promising career… but she never married… I figured Danger Mouse had fixed THAT notion and ruined her from finding any meaningful relationship."

"What if they DID somehow… reconcile?" asked Bagel. "Call me a hopeless romantic but maybe SHE got over it. And you never knew because you didn't keep in touch… you KNOW that you and I aren't permitted CLOSE contact with family because of our jobs… not unless we're given clearance."

"I still think that's HIGHLY unlikely," Lori mumbled.

A siren shattered their conversation, and Bagel shrieked, dropped the photo as Lori spun around her hands poised in defensive mode. She had taken Kong Moggie and other martial arts, and was a precision fighting machine. Bagel saw the screen buzz several times, and a rather large fellow with a white beard cleared his throat at sight of the two agents standing there.

"Yes?" asked Lori. "Are you Colonel K?"

"That's right missy, and you must be M6? Bally glad to meet you."

"The pleasure is likewise," Lori cleared her throat. "Lori Lamoure, Agent M6 Trial mouse at your service, from RATS. I understand your top agent is missing."

"Your contact JP gave me all the details here," he harrumphed. "And we've got a big problem. About two hours ago Agent Danger Mouse and his assistant Penfold went to investigate Baron Greenback's latest evil scheme."

"Who's Greenback?" Bagel asked slowly.

"One of the most ROTTEN villains," Lori said slowly. "This is the BIGTIME… I thought Cam Elion-Rex was bad… but he's one of the OLD schools."

"Quite," said Colonel K as he cleared his throat. "And we've got to get him back… that's why YOU ladies come in."

"We're come in already sir," said Bagel slowly. "And what we like want to know is, what the HECK do we do?"

"She's your assistant?" Col. K asked, while glancing at Bagel.

"That's right," nodded Lori. "Bagel, chill a bit… as you were saying."

"As I was saying, Agent Danger Mouse has gone missing. Moreover, it's your job to find him, and make contact… only you both can defeat this twin menace. The whole country and the world's depending on you, M6."

"I won't let you down sir," said Lori. "Where was agent Danger Mouse's last position?"

"Sitting down I hope," Bagel mumbled.

"Bagel…" said Lori, tapping her foot impatiently.

"Okay I get the hint," Bagel mumbled and shut herself up.

"Danger Mouse and Penfold were last seen over the North Sea," Colonel K informed them. "And they went off radar at approximately 1425."

"I thought it was 2003," Bagel mumbled.

"He means MILITARY time," Lori coughed, rolling her eyes.

"Sheesh, more METRIC stuff, you British are crazy," Bagel sighed.

"Is she like this ALL the time?" Colonel K asked Lori.

"Yep," Nodded Lori.

"Well then, good luck. And for information regarding Danger Mouse, you have clearance to look in the top files…"

"Sir, P said to say hello," Bagel chimed in.

"Ah, how's the old blighter?" asked Colonel K.

"I think he's singed for the moment, or flash frozen," Lori said.

"Good old chap," said Colonel K. "Good luck ladies, the future of the free world is depending on you."

"Like I said, count on us," Lori said.

"Over and out," said the Colonel, as the screen buzzed off.

"They need to get their screen fixed," Bagel commented.

"Bagel, really," Lori mumbled. "I think we go OUT the way we came in…"

"This is worse than the poles," Bagel mumbled as Lori grabbed her hand and plunked her down on the same section of the sofa. As soon as they sat, the elevator shot down, and Bagel let out a cry of "OY gevalt, my stomach!"

Bagel and Lori slid down the chute into the seat of the car, and Lori revved the engine. Luckily the door swung open, and she soon held onto the seat for dear life as Lori activated the wings and the Gail became a sprightly little aircraft, speeding out over London and out to the North Sea.

* * *

Two good hours of flight, the grey foamy waters gave way to a white opaque surface festooned with cracks. The air itself seemed to change pressure, indicating they had crossed the Arctic Circle. Bagel shivered even though the H button had been pressed. "What are we looking for?" she asked Lori. "Other than PENGUINS or Vikings?"

"Penguins are at the South Pole, Bagel," said Lori, sighing.

"So, who told THEM that?" she asked, pointing to a few penguins on a small floe of ice, one of them fanning a wood stove. Lori blinked and shook her head as she sped by, following the trail Colonel K had relayed to them.

"Okay, here are a few islands… the Isle of Wight… that's DM's last known position…"

"They look GREY to me,' Bagel mumbled.

"Even so, we should be careful… my radar's picking up something. Make that something BIG and metallic."

"Like a flying SAUCER?" Bagel cried, pointing ahead.

"Don't' be silly there are NO such things," Lori began, but clapped her mouth shut when her eyes beheld the anomaly.

"Tell THEM that!" she cried as it came into view. Lori steered out of the way JUST in time as the large frog headed saucer cut them off. A small door opened and a machine gun shot out, firing rapidly.

"Help!" Bagel cried as the shots rang out, and Lori struggled to keep the craft in an evasive pattern. One shot crackled on the wing, and Bagel shrieked as she clung to the seat. Another shot slammed into the roof, making a loud think.

"P has GOT to fix the new model, I thought it was bullet proof!" she mumbled.

"It's not a bullet it's CUSTARD," Bagel mumbled, seeing the yellow ooze spread over. There came a slow hiss as it began to eat through the roof.

"Acid custard?" said Lori as Bagel sniffed it. Her eyes snapped shut behind her glasses after the first whiff.

"Yes, custard, and it REEKS," Bagel turned up her nose.

"Okay, he asked for it," said Lori angrily. "Get ready to JAM their radar."

"And HOW are you going to do this… does this car have weapons?"

"Hmm," she said, pressing the W button. Nothing happened, except a bottle of water shot up and out of the back of the car and landed into their laps. Lori saw the words, "Sorry, weapon system is not yet installed…"

"GREAT," Lori mumbled.

"Water?" Bagel groaned as the custard continued to eat through the roof. A bit of it dripped on her seat belt and she shrieked as it ate through. Grabbing the water, Lori doused her assistant, to cut the acidic custard. She grabbed the jar of strawberry jam, and held it in her hand as she circled around the strange frog headed saucer, still firing at them. Holding the jar, she threw it quickly at the gun, and it landed neatly inside.

As the next shot fired, there was an explosion. Subsequently the jam coated the insides of the gun, and Bagel almost laughed as she saw it short circuit. "You did it Sis!" she cried.

"Naturally," she nodded. "I'll have to thank you for that year."

"But that was supposed to go with the peanut butter," Bagel sighed. "What a waste."

"Yikes!" Lori cried as suddenly a bright yellow object was headed STRAIGHT for them.

"LOOK OUT!" Bagel cried as Lori flipped up and around, and Bagel screamed as she tumbled out of the Gail 6, and tumbled downwards to the seat.

"HELP!" she screamed as she spun helplessly down head over heels. She screamed her loudest and best, from her training in Assistant Agent protocols. As she glanced up, she saw the form of the Gail 6 speeding away as more shots cracked into it, and it spiraled down towards the North Sea.

As Bagel continued a scream that would have made her mom and brothers proud, she suddenly felt her fall broken by a solid thump of something soft under her, and the sound of a car engine. Gasping, she clung and shivered in the seat, almost sobbing in fear. Automatically she straightened her glasses so they were more securely perched on her muzzle. Through the haze of her panic, she saw the blinking lights on a panel, and the movement of something white.

_Isenbard: Oh no, will Agent M6 be able to find what happened to her assistant. Will Bagel learn the hard way that hamster's can't fly? Can the rescuers rescue their rescuers without needing to be rescued? In addition, where is Danger Mouse? Find out!_


	3. Episode 3 DM's new partner

Disclaimer: Danger Mouse and characters are property of Cosgrove/Hall productions, and I don't own them. This fiction and the characters of M6 Lori Lamoure and her assistant and other craziness the other side of the pond is my own insanity, property of me, Trynia Merin. This is the revised version as of 7/13/2008

**Two of the Best and Two of the Worst**

Chapter 2

By Trynia Merin

* * *

_Opening Theme, as usual._

_Danger Mouse, Danger Mouse… DANGERMOUSE…._

_When the bomb explodes over the logo, the title card is seen, with the following logo:_

**Two of the Best and Two of the Worst, Part 3**

_Narrator: In our last episode, Agent M6 and her assistant Bagel found the HQ of DM and made contact with Col. K. Following a hasty introduction and a bout of culture shock, both agents were informed of DM's last reported location. With Col. K's blessing both M6 and her hapless hamster set off, only to be attacked by the Frogs head flyer. During the melee, an unfortunate turn of events catapulted M6's assistant straight into the passenger seat of the Mark III, and into the company of Danger Mouse himself. Just why has DM gone missing, and where is Penfold?_

"Steady on now," an English accented voice reassured her. Its calm steady tones soothed her shattered nerves. Her heart still pounded fit to burst.

"I'll NEVER go on the roller coaster AGAIN!" she moaned. "Oy vey…"

"Good GRIEF, you're not my assistant," said the voice, and Bagel turned her head. She was sitting on the WRONG side of the car, and the white mouse sitting NEXT to her was not Lori, but the legend himself.

"I'm not, but it's a DARN good thing you were there to catch me," she gasped, as she hunted for her glasses. Around her neck hung the camera, and Bagel panted as she fumbled to put her glasses into place.

"Here you are. Are these your spectacles?" he asked handing them to her. She slipped them on, and gasped as she rode next to Danger Mouse himself. HE was much more handsome then in the pictures and briefs she saw, and she felt blood rushing to her cheeks. In the driver's seat next to her, the White Wonder noticed the pale pink under her glasses and chuckled to himself. He had to admit she looked rather cute.

"Yes," she nodded. "You're… you're HIM… DM… Danger Mouse."

"I take it you've heard of me miss?" he asked. "And might I ask what a rather young hamster like YOU is doing in a cold miserable place like this?"

"I'm an assistant secret agent, for RATS," she said slowly. "And my Sis-- she's not REALLY my sister, but I call her that cause I look up to her--my CO agent suddenly got hit with acidic CUSTARD, and I fell out, and she's gone down…you've GOT to save her! Wait a minute; you're supposed to be MISSING!"

"Baron Greenback jammed my radar," DM said angrily as he pointed to the jelly stuck on his console. "The FIEND!"

"Um, too bad you don't' have any peanut butter, but club soda takes ANYTHING out," she said, opening the bottle of mineral water she had and wetting her handkerchief. She wiped off the console before Danger mouse could stop her, and he was amazed to see the radio working.

"Good grief, you did it," Danger Mouse smiled slowly at her. "What did you say your name was again?"

"Bagel Zingerwitz at your service sir," she said. "And my co agent… she's in trouble…"

"We'd better go down and see if she needs help," DM nodded. "And I hope I can find my assistant… I'm quite worried about him… he tends to get nosebleeds if he falls into the ocean at a great whacking speed…"

"So do I," Bagel laughed. "We learned THAT in assistants 101."

"Good job I heard you scream," DM nodded. "Or I might not have even known to catch you. Rest easy now… we'll find your co agent and maybe Penfold as well."

"He's your assistant, right?" Bagel asked.

"That would be him," the White Wonder nodded. "You didn't by any chance see him did you?"

"Colonel K sent us looking for you; he said he was worried you'd gone missing."

"I'd better report in," Danger Mouse nodded, and pressed the button of his cleaned off radio. The image of Colonel K flickered into life.

"Great Scott, Danger Mouse! You're all right!" said the Colonel in shock.

"Yes Chief, but I've lost Penfold… he went missing when I passed through a mysterious cloud… and then something headed STRAIGHT at me, and I barely managed to get out of line, and then this assistant landed in my seat."

"That's Bagel. She's M6's assistant," Col. K clarified. "I do hope you didn't miss M6."

"I'm sorry about not calling in sir," Danger mouse apologized.

"You gave me quite a turn; I'll try to raise her. Colonel K calling agent M6. Come in…"

For a few tense minutes, Colonel K tried to raise Lori, but got nothing. Bagel groaned and bit her nails and looked worriedly at Danger Mouse. He sighed and said, "Bad news DM. Now she's gone missing."

"I have a hunch she might be in the SAME place Penfold is," said Danger Mouse grimly. "In trying to rescue me, she might well be captured."

"Would THAT be the place they are?" she asked, as she pointed to the soaring saucer.

"Good GRIEF the Frogs-Head Flier!" Danger Mouse gasped. "Hold on Bagel, I'm going to do some evasive maneuvers."

"Why don't you have SEATBELTS?" Bagel shouted as Danger Mouse wove in and out of the Frogs-Head Flier blasts. Custard spattered against the Mark III, but Danger Mouse pressed a button, and Bagel looked at him in wonder as the custard slid off harmlessly.

"I may not have seatbelts, my dear, but I do have an ACS," said Danger Mouse.

"What would THAT be?"

"Anti custard shield," Danger Mouse announced as they circled around and suddenly vanished into a thick haze. The White Wonder glanced down at the screen. The image of Colonel K was replaced with that of beeping radar and Danger Mouse narrowed his single gold eye to look at it.

"Hmmm, I'm showing a secret base down there… On the Isle of Wight," said he.

"How secret is it if you can find it?" Bagel asked.

"Oh really," Danger Mouse chuckled, and felt a sudden sense of gladness. He was used to Penfold's silly questions, and so far, this American assistant had a similar personality. It might prove to be helpful after all, for he always worked best in the company of someone he could protect. That someone was usually Penfold.

"Mr. Mouse sir, it's an HONOR to meet you," Bagel gushed excitedly to him. She thrust her hand out over the gearshift, facing him.

"Oh stop, really," Danger Mouse chuckled modestly. He glanced to a spot just to the left, the hamster noticed, rather shyly. However he did remove one hand from the steering wheel long enough to clasp hers and return the hearty shake.

She released his fingers from the firm grip and chattered, "No really, you're a legend even in America, why they even have a comic book named after you… I collect comics you see."

"Well Assistant Bagel, since you and your boss were supposed to work with me and my assistant, I think you can consider yourself my temporary assistant till I recover Penfold," Danger Mouse nodded.

"I'm honored," she said. "I hope I live up to the reputation."

"So far I'm suitably satisfied," Danger Mouse nodded. "And now we go into the LAIR of the pernicious toad."

"Terrific," Bagel mumbled as the Mark III circled around the fog, and a shape came into view. There atop a craggy cliff was a metallic structure, and she winced at the frog shaped architecture. "Pretty obvious I'd say."

"Those are the worst sort of villains, Bagel," Danger Mouse nodded. "I'm going to put her down here… hang on."

"You don't have to tell ME twice," Bagel mumbled as Danger Mouse brought them in for a landing.

* * *

After Danger Mouse landed the Mark III Bagel shivered yet again, unable to suppress the sneeze. Danger Mouse turned to look at his temporary assistant, who was hugging herself and shivering. He leapt out of the car, and opened the door for her, as the perfect gentleman he was. Unaccustomed to working with a female agent, he hoped that the American wouldn't be past his British Chivalry.

"Thank you, Mr. Danger Mouse," she shivered as she climbed out, and he offered her his hand gallantly.

"You can simply call me DM, young lady," he said.

"I'm FREEZING, this weather's a bust," she mumbled. "Not that I'm complaining."

"Wait here, I think Penfold's muffler and hat are in here, in the boot," Danger Mouse said as he crossed around to the front of the car, and opened up the trunk in front. Bagel saw him pull out a striped scarf, impossibly long, with an Eskimo style parka, and he handed them to her, helping her into them. She felt the scarf was ridiculous, but she was happy not to be freezing half to death.

"Now what?" she asked him as he glanced around, shading his one eye with his hand. He appeared to be unaffected by the cold, and she guessed his white suit must have a special patented lining.

"Good question," he said. "In for a spot of climbing?"

"As long as it helps me find Lori," she nodded.

Bagel started to tromp after Danger Mouse, trying not to trip on the ends of the long scarf. She felt her glasses fog up and mumbled as she kept stride with him. He almost seemed to blend into the snow. As he commenced the climb, he reached for his badge and threw it down, and she saw a small grappling line at the end. Grabbing the DM badge, she felt herself whisked up to the ledge beside him. Reaching for his belt, he pulled out a towline, and wrapped it around her waist.

"Leave the climbing to me," he nodded as he started to test handholds on the sheer ice wall. The Isle of Wight was a nasty forlorn place and she let Danger Mouse slowly climb, with her hanging behind him. She tried desperately not to look down as the White Wonder made his assent. Thankfully, it was uneventful, and Danger Mouse reached the summit, pulling Bagel behind him like a tethered mitten.

"Thanks sir," she nodded panting.

"Takes your breath away doesn't it?" he chuckled, hands on his hips. She wondered why Danger Mouse didn't have a tail, like most white mice, but figured he must have lost it in the same accident that must have claimed his eye.

"I'll say," she nodded, and pulled out her camera. Slowly she started to snap pictures.

"What are you doing?" Danger Mouse asked. While Penfold had his annoying habits, they seemed far more comfortable then this assistant turned shutterbug all of a sudden. However it broke the monotony, and he realized it was slowly becoming comforting to see something so mundane.

"Say cheese," she said. "Part of my duty as an assistant is to write the biography of my agent."

"Oh very well," Danger Mouse said as he struck a dramatic pose. He held his arm to one side, and stood before the icy wall as Bagel snapped a few pictures and he turned to look at the formidable fortress.

"Thanks… now any way in?" wondered Bagel.

"If I know Greenback, I think the FRONT door would be too obvious," Danger Mouse muttered.

"I don't suppose there is a BACK door… knowing Cam Elion he'd have a TRAP door…" Bagel muttered as she wandered around slowly, shivering despite the warm coat. Danger Mouse approached the high wall, which was made of gray green metal, and began to rap around a bit as Bagel took shots of him with her camera. She avoided the red button, seeing there was no need for a crocodile deterrent.

"Drat," Danger Mouse mumbled. "Not a SIGN of a trap… I must be losing it."

"You THINK he's expecting you? I would have thought by now we'd see acid custard bombs. This quiet thing isn't his style is it?"

Disappointed, DM tapped his foot and folded his arms across his chest. "I must be losing my touch. By now we'd have fallen through a trap door."

"Any ideas?" Bagel asked him.

"Mind you, I wouldn't mind a few more questions," Danger Mouse murmured. "You DO get used to your assistant asking you 'what are we going to do now chief…' "

"You miss him, don't' you?" Bagel asked. "Anything I can do to make you more on form?"

"Penfold was a thoroughly inadequate assistant, but you must understand behind every world class agent…"

"Is a thoroughly incompetent sidekick," Bagel grinned. "Well would it help if I said Blimey DM what do we do now?"

"Rather," the hero smiled fondly. "But the accent isn't quite right. I'm afraid it sounds odd coming from a New Yorker such as you."

"I guess I'm just NOT good at being helpless," Bagel laughed.

"Well, you don't know Penfold," he chuckled. "Now, let's see if Greenback's noticed us yet."

"Hmm, wait a minute," Bagel said as she pointed to a small square outline under DM. "What are you standing on?"

"Hmm," Danger Mouse wondered, and looked down as Bagel stood next to him. Suddenly the ground dissolved out from under them and he glanced at her in alarm. For only a split second, they hung there in space with a sheer drop beneath them.

"Uh oh," Bagel groaned. "Be careful WHAT you wish for."

"Ah, finally!" DM laughed and as he and Bagel plummeted, he managed to catch the young hamster as she fell with a shriek.

"You almost enjoyed that, didn't you?" she asked, looking up at him as he caught her.  
Danger Mouse had to admit, "Well it WAS a bit quiet for Greenback… tell me, is this customary style for your villain?"

"He IS quiet, and he doesn't use trap doors, he uses slides," Bagel said.

"Oh… really?" DM asked as he glanced down, still holding her off her feet in his arms. "Because I suddenly realized… even though I was here to catch you, nobody was here to catch MEEEEEE!"

"YIKES!" Bagel screamed as they suddenly slid down a vertical slide, and DM held tightly to her. They landed in a rather undignified heap at the bottom, and Bagel rubbed her aching head as DM lay under her.

"Sorry sir," she apologized.

"Don't mention it," he mumbled as he slowly shook his head. "Used to it by now."

She leapt off his back and reached down to help him up, and DM let her, amused at an agent assistant that wasn't so incompetent. It was a strange feeling, and he DID like the change, although he DID miss Penfold's silly antics. It made for a more interesting time.

"It's too quiet," DM mumbled as he walked around. The lights suddenly clicked off.

"Oh you HAD to say it!" Bagel groaned.

"Greenback, where ARE you, you fiend?" DM called into the darkness. Bagel fumbled in her pockets and pulled out the keychain light, beaming it around. She heard a yelp as she shined it right in DM's eye.

"Must you?" he asked.

"Well you wanted incompetent, did THAT rank high?" she joked.

"That was worthy of Penfold himself," Danger Mouse sighed. "Now, let's get cracking."

"Did you HAVE to say cracking?" she asked. Pointing her light up to the ceiling, she beamed it to reveal where huge icicles hung like great sharp teeth. She heard a slight cracking sound, and DM managed to grab her and tumble out of the way. Simultaneously a whole slew of them broke loose and hit the bottom of the ice cavern like enormous spikes.

"Whew, if that's the best he can do, we've not even BEGUN to get close,' DM mumbled as he set Bagel down, and she struggled to get the muffler out of her face.

"Close enough for me, whew," she mumbled, taking off the muffler and throwing it down. DM looked at her oddly, and she said, "Just marking the trail…"

"All right then, let's go," he nodded, marching on ahead as Bagel handed him her keychain light, and marched behind him, sans muffler. They moved into the ice cave, gleaming in the small beam of her flashlight. They came to a run of rushing water, and DM stopped Bagel just as she was about to jump onto the rickety bridge poised over it.

"Hang about, that's too obvious," he mumbled.

"Not to mention, there are SHARKS in there… with LASER beams on their heads!" she complained.

"Laser beams?" DM gasped as a pencil thin line illuminated where they stood. Nimbly he dodged to the side, shoving Bagel out of harm's way as a section of ice melted where they had stood.

"Look out!" she cried as sharks beamed his device at them, and Danger Mouse leapt up and onto the bridge.

"Hurry, quick!" he shouted, reaching for her hand. She grabbed it just in time as a beam sizzled past her coat and DM grabbed her, rushing across the bridge.

She exclaimed, "Yikes, I thought you said the bridge was too obvious!"

"I'm open to suggestions!" he shouted as the bridge began to creak and sway under their combined weight. It shivered and jittered both of them.

"Look out!" she shouted, as another shark's head broke the surface, propelling itself out of the water as it snapped at the bridge.

Danger Mouse yelped, and caught Bagel as she almost toppled over the side. He suddenly found himself clinging to the rope on one side and Bagel's collar in his other hand. She shrieked again as the shark nipped at her booted feet. DM swung her back onto the bridge, then flipped over and landed next to her. Two sharks surfaced, training their laser beam rigs on either end. Danger Mouse grabbed Bagel's hand just as both fired simultaneously, and they topped toward the water. However, the White Wonder landed on an ice floe in the quick moving river. Leaping from floe to floe with Bagel, he soon crossed the water, landing safely on the other side.

"Thanks," she panted, as he put her down. With great care, he placed her on her feet, she noticed. Rather than drop her or unceremoniously plop her down.

"Don't mention it. I have to say that's definitely NOT Greenback's style. Hats off to your villain."

"That's just a warm-up," she informed him.

As a laser beam zinged past them, DM grabbed her hand, pulling her quickly after him. They rushed panting; finally reaching a stretch of hallway that was less ice, and more metal, illuminated by sparkling lights high in the walls.

"Interesting," DM mumbled as he saw the banks of mirrors arising on either side.

To his mild surprise, he heard her say, "Heck of a place for a fun house."

"Are you having fun?" Danger Mouse asked. An odd pang of familiarity set it, reminding him of another time in the past when his own assistant had uttered the same phrase, and he the identical reply.

"Nope," she panted.

"Then I suggest we DUCK!" he shouted as they dropped down, and their reflections came to life. DM glanced anxiously around as several clones of himself and Bagel approached.

"Oy gevalt!" she cried, backing up against Danger Mouse.

He urged in his calm British tone, "Stiff upper lip now…"

"Any stiffer and I'd be a hamster sickle!" she cried, shivering. Another trap door opened up, and DM suddenly plummeted through it.

"DM!" she cried, as she was alone with the duplicates. "What do I do…? DM!"

"RUN!" Danger Mouse shouted up from the depths of the hole. "It always works for Penfold!"

"I'm not Penfold!" she cried as she backed away from the hole. She dodged under the arms of the DM clones and raced as far as her legs could carry her into another section of the trap.

_Isenbard: Will Danger Mouse be able to save the world with his new assistant. Will he prove the theorem that one hamster is exchangeable for another and start the world's first agent currency exchange? Will we find out what's become of M6 and the hapless hamster Penfold! Find out in our next exciting episode!_


	4. Episode 4 startling revelations

Disclaimer: Danger Mouse and characters are property of Cosgrove/Hall productions, and I don't own them. This fiction and the characters of M6 Lori Lamoure and her assistant and other craziness the other side of the pond is my own insanity, property of me, Trynia Merin. This is the revised version as of 7/13/2008

**Two of the Best and Two of the Worst**

Chapter 3

By Trynia Merin

* * *

_Opening Theme, as usual._

_Danger Mouse, Danger Mouse… DANGER MOUSE…._

_When the bomb explodes over the logo, the title card is seen, with the following logo:_** Two of the Best and Two of the Worst, **Part 4

_Narrator: In our last episode, Agent Bagel thought she was a goner, before she was rescued by none other than the white wonder himself. Deputizing her as his assistant, DM sought to find his own assistant and M6 before the Baron and his new ally did… but will they succeed? Can DM act without Penfold's help? Also, what's become of Penfold and the lovely American agent M6?_

"Hello? Anybody there?" Lori asked as she slowly came to, and found that her car was in the bottom of an ice cavern. She was thankful it turned into a submarine courtesy of the S button, and the current had taken her into this underground cavern. Slowly she walked in ever widening circles, glancing for some sign of civilization.

As she came closer, she saw the telltale sharks rising, and dodged the laser beams that shot overhead. She heard distant cries coming from somewhere deeper in the cavern, and tuned her special hearing to them.

A high-pitched voice cried, "Oh 'eck... oh HELP! Someone SAVE ME!"

"This calls for some rescue action," she said, rushing in the direction of the voice. When it grew louder, she saw the source. Hanging from two cuffs was a little fellow, screaming and thrashing as he tried to avoid crocodiles from nipping his toes. He wore glasses, and his face held terror. She recognized him from the picture that Bagel had shown her.

"HELP!" he cried. "Somebody SAVE ME! My best friend is a superhero… oh CRUMBS, oh crikey, oh 'eck!"

"Don't panic, I'm coming to rescue you, whoever you are!" Lori cried as she scoped out the situation. While she was used to sharks with laser beams on their heads, she wasn't used to crocodiles. And what were THEY doing in the arctic? Must be one of Greenback's traps.

"Help!" Penfold cried, dangling like a worm on a hook. His accent was decidedly British, but definitely not the stereotypical sort portrayed and lampooned on American television. Rather one of the ones she would have heard on a genuine English soap like East Enders.

"Hold on!" she cried.

"I AM holding on!" he cried back as Lori poised to jump. Taking her grappling line, she threw it until it landed near the hamster's cuffs and swung across the pit. Grabbing him by the waist, she quickly bit through the chains. After she landed on the other side of the pit, she set the shivering little person down.

"Cor, thank goodness chief… 'Ang about, yer not the chief!" he gasped as he looked up and saw the svelte form in shining white teraline, and the absence of an eye patch. Rubbing his glasses on his sleeve, Penfold blinked.

"I'm not your chief, I'm afraid. You must be Penfold, I presume?"

"Blimey, if you aren't the prettiest white mouse I've ever seen… cor!" Penfold blinked. Lori smiled and leaned over to look at him.

"I guess you're Danger Mouse's little friend?" she asked him.

"That I am… where is the chief?" asked Penfold, confused as he wrung his hands.

"That's what I was sent here to find," Lori said. "I suggest we move as FAR away from the crocodiles as we can…"

"Cor yer right," he nodded as Lori offered her hand and Penfold slipped his into hers, rushing quickly after her.

As they rushed along, Penfold panted, trying to keep up with her. She was as fast as DM, and the long tail curved gracefully as she came to a halt and Penfold stumbled at the edge of a sheer drop. Her tail snaked out and caught Penfold about the waist. He screamed as he dangled in the abyss, before Lori planted him safely.

"Thanks for the rescue Miss," he panted. "Another second there and I would have copped it!"

"Now can you answer me a few questions?" she asked him. "Such as where is DM?"

"I don't know… lummie if that rotter Greenback didn't capture me and plunk me down here in those awful crocodiles! But you saved me! You must be that agent that DM was going to work with… the American?"

"That I am. Allow me to introduce myself. I'm agent M6. You haven't seen another hamster with glasses… female I take it?"

"Eck no," Penfold said slowly. "I've been screaming me voice out fer DM… Baron Greenback's been right nasty, and e's got a new chum with him."

"Is he named Cam Eleon Rex?" she asked.

"That'd be him!" Penfold said, and shivered. "Greenback's rotten but he's just plain MEAN…"

"Just why he and Greenback are working together and where they're hiding! I have GOT to find out," she mumbled.

"Oh please Miss you got to help me find DM!" Penfold pulled on her sleeve impatiently. "I'm worried SICK!"

"I know you are. I also have an assistant, I'm worried about," she nodded. "Can you consider yourself my assistant till we find them?"

"Right o you can count on me," Penfold said, in a weird effort to be brave, even if it was just being polite. Even though he was a coward, he did have some manners his Aunt taught him.

"C'mon Penfold, let's go," she said.

"Oh 'eck," he groaned as he fell in behind her and followed her into the darkness. "I hate darkness… it isn't light enough…"  
"Don't worry, I'm protecting you. What do you have to worry about?"

"Spiders!" he shrieked, jumping into her arms. Lori chuckled with amusement as he clung to her, shivering. His arm wrapped around her hip, his small body trembling like jelly against hers.

"There are NO spiders up THIS far north," she laughed and put him down.

"Then tell THEM that!" he pointed wildly to the large spiders that were slowly crawling up around them. Lori cart wheeled out of the way, her tail wrapping around Penfold as she dragged him out of the way of their webbing. True to his nature he screamed and shouted, fussing as Lori bore him safely out of harm's way.

"Now that's pure Cam Elion," she nodded as the hissing spiders rushed after them. "Never MIND they are robotic ones!"

"I don't' care if they're wind up, they're horrible!" Penfold wailed.

"Buck up, little camper," she laughed as he hid behind her and she held up her hands in defensive posture. "I do know some martial arts, and these hands are deadly weapons!"

"You don't know Kong Moggie do you?" Penfold groaned.

"Um yes," M6, Lori admitted.

"Cause they do too!" he pointed as the spiders moved into the same stance, and she suddenly stared them down, her pink eyes fixing on their opponents.

"Come quietly, and I won't be rough on you!" Lori shouted bravely as she intercepted their attacks. Thick choking webbing surrounded Penfold shrieked and backed away as she pushed him aside and suddenly.

"Oh heck!" he shouted as he stepped backwards, and plummeted through a trap door, down a slide. Lori felt the webs surrounding her as they tightened. Suddenly she realized she had lit up like a light bulb when and electrical charge surged through the webbing.

"Now THAT's definitely NOT you, Cam-Elion!" she shouted before she passed out.

"Very good," Greenback rubbed his hands together from behind his desk. Nero laughed as he leapt up and down, and Eleon-Rex grinned. Over the video screen, they had seen the entire event unfold before them with clockwork precision.

"Do I or do I NOT live up to my reputation?" he grinned.

"Indeed, we make a good team," Greenback laughed. "Danger Mouse will SOON fall prey to our combined machinations."  
"And Agent M6 is already abducted."

"Stiletto, prepare to round up the assistants," Greenback added.

"Nadine, prepare for operation mop up," said his partner. A svelte ladybird strode from behind a door, and then sauntered up to the Baron's desk.

"Nadine Nevermore, my number two," he said, pointing out the raven beauty, who wore a black ninja suit, and her beak covered in a black mask. She swung a pair of nunchukas in her hands; her gold eyes gleaming in the light as Stiletto suddenly came in.

"Stone-a da crows," he gaped.

"I trust you two can handle two incompetent hamsters?" Greenback looked at his assistant and the new arrival.

"Si Barony," Stiletto nodded eagerly.

"Then take care of it," he said.

"This-a way senora," Stiletto quickly showed the way to the secret passages in the trap. "Ladies first."

As she moved past him, her tail feathers brushed him and he laughed, rushing after her as he almost lost his hat, and left the two evildoers to revel in their almost victory. Greenback turned to Cam Elion and said, "But there is STILL the matter of Danger Mouse."

Cam Elion turned to Greenback and said; "He has STILL eluded us… but not for long," so saying he pointed to a view screen where DW was in a dark pit, surrounded by TNT and other explosives. He was gripped in a steel clamp, and locked down to the gurney, glaring up at the camera with defiant gaze.

"Resting comfortably, Witless wonder?" asked Cam Eliot as he sashayed over to the microphone, and regarded his alley's nemesis.

"You fiend, when I get my hands on you…"

"I don't think that will be possible, Danger Mouse," laughed Greenback. Danger Mouse glared up at the camera lens, to see the twin threat represented before him.

"I might have known you'd stoop so low as to use HELP," DM taunted. "Only a twisted and DESPARATE genius like you would hire an AMERICAN criminal to try and get me…you're losing your touch, Greenback!"

"All's fair in free trade," Cam Elion laughed. "And don't expect help from the other side of the pond. By now both you and she are doomed!"

"If she's hurt," DM said slowly.

"I wouldn't worry about her, or your assistant. They're on their way out to becoming extinct. Worry more for yourself. Because when the sand in this hourglass drops to the lower part, you'll be nothing more than a footnote in criminal history," said Cam Eleon.

"You fiends!" echoed Danger Mouse's voice before Greenback laughed maniacally.

"At LAST you will be no more," Greenback laughed, joining his new ally in the usual villainous maniacal laughter.

* * *

Penfold shrieked as he blundered through blackness, bumping into the walls here and there. He mumbled and reached for his flashlight, and clicked it on. Around him, there were multiple places he could go, but he stood there shivering in fear.

"Oh 'Eck, oh crumbs oh crikey, what am I going to do… I'm all ALONE," he whimpered.

He heard a low howl, accompanied by a scream that was coming closer and closer. Screaming himself, he broke into a run, but slipped and slid on the icy floor beneath him. Unfortunately, this only resulted in the hamster running comically in one place with his arms flung before him. From above the scream grew louder and more menacing before Penfold suddenly felt something slam into his back. Temporarily stars and all manner of tweeting birds orbited his head. As he groaned, someone else groaned, and he felt something sitting on his back.

"Oh 'eck now I know how DM feels," he mumbled, laying flat. He couldn't turn his head to see what was weighing him down, but it moved and shivered as he was a few minutes before.

"What happened," said the voice that perked up Penfold's ears. Bagel had something break her fall, and even though she was stunned, she blinked to see she was sitting on someone's back. And she didn't' fail to notice the stars orbiting the poor little person's head.

"Ohhhhh heck," Penfold moaned.

"Hey, you saved me," Bagel said, leaning down to see her rescuer who had broken her fall. "You saved me… thank you SO much!"

"Ooh er?" Penfold moaned as Bagel leapt off him and took a closer look. She leaned down and picked up the flashlight from him, flicking it on and sticking it in the snow as she rolled him over and got a good look at her rescuer. Even though it was accidental, he WAS a soft place to land on.

"Hey you okay?" she asked as she put his head and shoulders on her lap. Then she looked down at him, fanning his face with her handkerchief.

"Umm… crumbs, what the heck happened?" he stopped and blinked up.

A dainty hand put his glasses back on his nose and he looked up into the face of a female hamster. She wore pink bows tied around her ears, and her soft brown hair framing her face, with a pair of thick glasses on her pink nose. She was a light golden brown, unlike him who was a darker brown, and instantly he was smitten.

"You saved me you know," she said shyly. Her dark eyes were blurred behind thick glasses, much like his must be.

"I saved you?" he looked up at her. "Cor… but I'm an assistant."

"Are you DM's friend?" asked Bagel.

Quickly Penfold assessed what happened as she rubbed his head, which was aching horribly, and he saw the glint of light off her glasses. His head and shoulders lay in her lap, and he noticed she was wearing a blouse and pleated plaid skirt, which his head lay on. Her hands were small and delicate, with pink painted nails, and her glasses were gold framed.

_HE… had broken HER fall. He had SAVED her. He… Penfold, thoroughly inadequate assistant, had saved a girl. Moreover, a very CUTE hamster girl to boot. She looked about his age._

"That's right I'm Penfold, Ernest Penfold at your service miss," he said, a sudden feeling of warmth coming over him as he sat up and managed to draw himself up to his short height. "And I SAVED you!"

"That's right," she smiled. "I'm Bagel. Bagel Zingerwitz… From New York City. You know, the Big Apple?"

"Crikey, yer an American," Penfold blurted out, realizing how stupid this sounded. However, he wasn't used to rescuing damsels in distress. This was a new experience.

"Is this your flashlight?" she asked, holding it up to him. He took it from her, with a blush on his face as her hand touched his, and he reached down to help her up to her feet. She was the SAME height as he was, and he couldn't BELIEVE it. He had saved HER.

"Yes thank ye," he said with a flush on his face. Strangely, all his limbs felt numb, and a giddy sensation fluttered in his stomach. Yet it wasn't indigestion, it was a shy silly sensation.

"I was running like you wouldn't believe. This place is CRAZY," Bagel chattered on, glancing around as she moved closer to him. "And I was all alone…"

"Have you seen Danger Mouse?" asked Penfold.

"Yes, I was with him just a half hour ago," she confirmed.

"Oh good, cause I was worried SICK about him. He needs me you know," nodded Penfold eagerly.

"Yes, he said he missed having you around," said Bagel with a smile. "HE said he couldn't save the world without you…"

"He did, didn't he?" Penfold asked as he blushed. "Why of COURSE he did… because I'm Penfold, the assistant to the world's GREATEST secret agent! And I'll protect you!"

"I'm glad you're here to protect me," she said with a smile, thinking he was silly, but very cute nonetheless.

"We'd better find them before they miss us, and have all the fun," Penfold said, sounding FAR braver then he normally did. "Don't worry Bagel, we'll rescue them!"

"All right. I think they might be this way?" she suggested.

"Stick close miss, because I'm going to lead you out of here with my TRUSTY flashlight," Penfold said brightly. She ducked behind him, and the two hamsters moved out into one of the hallways. There came a sudden howling, and Penfold yelped.

"Oh what's that?" he shivered, his knees knocking together.

"I don't' know. The wind I hope?"

"Ohhh its awful hungry… and it sounds like it has GREAT gnashing teeth… oh crikey!"

"Oy vey," Bagel groaned and moved closer. Penfold grabbed her hand and held it, both shaking like jelly.

"Don't worry, I'll protect you, Miss!" he stammered.

"Thanks… I think," she stammered back as both hamsters shivered in mutual fear as the hulking black shape approached. A curved beak shimmered as a pair of nunchakas whirred. Penfold and Bagel both let out a loud cry, wrapping their arms went around each other while they backed away.

"I have you NOW, you little tag-alongs," came a maniacal laugh.

"You tell 'em sweets," said the voice of Stiletto. "All nice-ley and-a neatly wrapped up."

"Let's get them," said Natalie Nevermore as she swung her weapon menacingly, and Stiletto pounded his fists, brass knuckles in his hands.

"Stand back… I'm a deadly master in the art of Kung Moggie," Penfold suddenly said, standing before Bagel as she held the flashlight. Jumping on his toes, he stuck his hands at perpendicular angles before his chest. "You will NOT attack us!"

"Oh marone, I'm a-scared," laughed Stiletto.

"Oh don't hurt us, too badly," chuckled Nevermore as she approached, while lifting her mask. "It's been a while Bagel Zingerwitz. Prepare to be rubbed out."

"What-a she said," said Stiletto, cracking his knuckles. "Shall I or you?"

"Let's get them BOTH!"

"Ohh heck!" Penfold groaned, and backed away, his hands swinging as he began to try to act brave despite his cowardice. Bagel stood beside him, looking up at her enemies.

"Not in the face, not in the face!" she cried as their attackers advanced. Penfold held up his hands, feeling LESS then confident, despite the insane resolve to somehow be hero to this new hamster girl.

_Isenbard: OH NO! A horrible catastrophe indeed! Can Danger Mouse and M6 escape the twin fate of evil that has captured them? Can Penfold overcome his STRANGE new madness, and can he REALLY rescue his chief and M6? Stay tuned for this and other adventures on Episode 3 of Two of the Best and Two of the Worst…_


	5. Episode 5 Four Way Struggle

_Disclaimer: Danger Mouse and characters are property of Cosgrove/Hall productions, and I don't own them. This fiction and the characters of M6 Lori Lamoure and her assistant and other craziness the other side of the pond is my own insanity, property of me, Trynia Merin. Currently the story has been revised into six episodes instead of five for better flow as of July 13, 2008._

**Two of the Best and Two of the Worst**

Chapter 4

By Trynia Merin

* * *

_Opening Theme, as usual._

_Danger Mouse, Danger Mouse… DANGERMOUSE…._

_When the bomb explodes over the logo, the title card is seen, with the following logo:_

**Two of the Best and Two of the Worst, **Part 5

_In our last episode, Agent M6 and Danger Mouse were both captured by the patented Agent Snare, the evil creation of Baron Greenback and his new ally, Cam Elion-Rex. Both Penfold and Bagel managed to escape, through sheer dumb luck, only to find themselves up against the twin threat of both Hench birds of the nefarious duo. Danger Mouse and his fellow agent face certain death as the sand slips away. Will he manage to get free in time?_

DM opened his solitary eye, feeling the pounding in his head. Judging from the cold sensation enclosing his wrists and ankles he was cuffed. More specifically shackled to a flat surface that he felt resting flat against his back. Chain links jingled with the pull on each extremity, not even bending under his efforts to snap them. Across from him, he studied the piles of wooden crates smelling of saltpeter and sulfur, which twitched his red nose. The collection of explosives sat only ten feet between him and his view of the far wall. The shape of his cell was roughly trapezoidal, and the metal seams irregularity showed the faint outlines of a door. Green stripes were painted up to the height of the ceiling. Was it his imagination or did he see one panel of the wall slowly blurring.

Two eyes popped open, and he saw a mouth arching into a leering grin. Out from the wall popped a slender chameleon in a suit, suddenly shifting from the native environs into scaly green skin and a light yellow two-piece business suit. Globular eyes swiveled independently before focusing on him.

"Well, how does it FEEL to be on the outs, like the dodo?" asked Cam Elion Rex as he suddenly popped out of the shadows, and Danger Mouse groaned.

"Horrible! So you're the fiend behind all this," said Danger Mouse. "I might have KNOW the Baron was losing his touch."

"Sad but true," Cam-Elion grinned, as he sauntered over to the pile of TNT. "You're not my USUAL nemesis, but I must say you gave my Agent Snare a good trial run. You know how much the underworld will pay me once I market these babies?"

"You mean all this was a TEST?" Danger Mouse asked, laughing. "Surely you can't be serious."

"Oh but I am. I'm an entrepreneur, Mr. Danger Mouse," he said. "And I can call you that, can't I?"

"You're more demented then I could have imagined," DM commented as he rolled his single eye. "You don't want to rule the world, merely market an invention for profit?"

"Why not?" asked Cam Elion. "After all, evil scientists don't' make MUCH of a living if they don't' market their technology. Moreover, here in Great Britain or close enough to it is a completely new market in evil devices. With Baron Greenback's resources behind me, I'll dominate the ENTIRE world market in evil traps... I'll make a FORTUNE!"

"Why stop at that, when you can rule the world?" Danger Mouse asked him. "I mean REALLY… all this nattering on about profit when you can simply take over. Didn't' you learn villainy 101?"

"I'm a new fangled villain, Danger Mouse," Cam Elion laughed as he blended in with the stone wall. "All this world domination stuff is a bore. Why try to take over the world when I can simply BUY it?"

"You'll never succeed!" DM shouted.

"And you really ARE a bore, Danger Mouse," laughed Cam Elion. "I had thought you'd be a more INTERESTING challenge, testing my invention. However, I can see WHY Greenback thinks of you as his greatest threat. You're nothing but an overgrown mouse scout in white instead of khakis."

"Just come over here and say that," challenged the White Wonder.

"I'd rather gloat," he grinned, only a set of white bonded teeth visible. "And it wouldn't do you to be ALONE in your hour of death will it now. I've arraigned for a very special meeting. Since Britain and America sent me and my new business partner two of the best, I'm sure it's fitting she should join you in seeing the triumph of two of the WORST!"

"Who are you babbling bout man?" asked the White Wonder.

"Quite simply, the person who WAS supposed to help you," laughed a familiar evil cackle.

"Greenback I was WONDERING where you had slithered off to," Danger Mouse gritted as Baron Greenback strode in, with Nero on his shoulder.

"Why not share in my triumph. Admit it Danger Mouse, I have FINALLY won. There is NO way you can get out of this fix."

"Not while I still breathe," Danger Mouse said defiantly as he strained against the cuffs that held him prisoner on his inclined gurney.

"Oh I think you'll sing a different tune. Stiletto, bring her in… it's time you met the agent who was SUPPOSED to rescue you. Danger Mouse, may I present your lovely counterpart… M6…"

The White Wonder swiveled his head around to see Stiletto wheeling in a large silken cocoon. Inside it struggled a young white mouse, her blonde hair slipping askew of its clip. Angrily Lori shouted, "You hooligans you'll never get away with this!"

"What have you done?" Danger Mouse shouted as he saw the attractive young mouse wheeled in, and peeled off the silk prison. She was glued to the wall next to him, glaring angrily at the twin nemesis.

"Meet M6, my worst enemy," laughed Cam Elion. "M6, meet your counterpart, Danger Mouse…"

"You," said Lori, glaring at the White Wonder with angry pink eyes. "You got me INTO This mess!"  
"Now hang about!" Danger Mouse said, as he looked at her puzzled.

"Enjoy your date, Danger Mouse," laughed Greenback. Cam Elion turned the sandglass over and the hourglass began to seep its supply to the lower chamber. "Because you'll see corner the market in villainy… and through the American spirit of free enterprise, Ill RULE the world!"

"You fiend you'll never…" said M6 and DM together, before they clapped their mouths shut. Leaving both white mice fuming, the two villains laughed as they exited the chamber.

Curious, DM twisted his head to stare up at the fellow agent snared in silk spider threads. She thrashed and wriggled angrily, huffing and puffing as he had a question in his single eye. "Now WAIT a minute you said I got you into this? Care to explain?"

"It's YOUR fault," she huffed. "You had to go and DISAPPEAR like an IDIOT when I could have rescued you… and now we're both finished!"

"How is it MY fault?" DM asked, laughing ironically. "Pardon me, but this is a FINE how you do!"

"Are you surprised I'm not falling all over you with respect?" Lori gritted at DM. "Excuse me, but some of us know what a pompous and overrated CAD you are!"

"Hang on a minute!" DM shouted. "What is this all about?"

"You really don't have a clue, do you?" she laughed harshly, startling the British agent so he flinched visibly as if hit. "Some detective YOU are!"

"Whatever your concerns are, M6, we DO have to save the world," Danger mouse coughed. "And despite your reservations about working with me, we DO have to work together to get out of this mess."

"Work with you, I'd rather give you a good whack upside the head," she snapped angrily.

"Care to TELL me what has gotten you so angry at me?" DM asked. "Before we save the world?"

"You don't know my real name, do you Danger mouse?" she asked. "To the world I'm M6."

"I've heard a lot about you. You're one of America's best agents," DM said. "I can hardly understand WHY you'd be cross with me, since our controls asked us to work together. I wasn't the one who was captured, you were. And what EXACTLY does your name have to do with this mood you're in?"

"My name is Lori. Lori Lamoure," she said bitterly. "Ring a bell?"

"Lamoure?" DM blinked, and then his eye grew wide with sudden realization. "Hang about... you're not related to…"

"An old FRIEND of yours?" she asked. "Someone you left LONG ago? Well she's my COUSIN to be precise."

"She… she's you're cousin?" DM said in disbelief. "So that's why…"

"Got it detective?" she asked bitterly. "Because I'm sure SHE doesn't. You left her, and broke her heart. You never deserved her!"

"Excuse me, but aren't you a BIT out of date?" DM said with a nervous cough. "She spoke of you with the highest of praise… that she was most proud of you. That's why I specifically asked Colonel K that if I WAS forced to work with American Intel, I asked for M6."

To this statement, Lori blinked her pink eyes. Anger melted into a dubious frown, which looked equally distressing to Danger Mouse. The confusion cloud lifted a second later replaced by the furious gleam.

"What?" Lori asked. "What are you talking about?"

"She hadn't spoken to you in years," DM said slowly. "Because she knew you were training for the most top secret of missions. You and I… we are the same sort of person. Both cut off from our families because of our training. And I think you should know, your information is outdated."

"Likely story," Lori fussed.

Her light blond brows furrowed in doubt, telling DM he had to choose his words carefully if he was to convince Fifi's cousin of his sincerity. At that moment, he couldn't help realizing how alike Lori looked to Fifi. Except for the fact that Fifi's eyes were blue and Lori's were pink, the blonde curly hair and graceful taper of their muzzles was identical. Not to mention the build of their shapely bodies. However, Lori's frown wrinkled countenance brimmed with years of unresolved frustration. Such frustration he needed to quell or else they could never work together to get out of the Agent snare alive.

"I last saw her a year ago," DM said slowly, his face blushing. "She… and I… well what I'm going to tell you is of the most personal nature… but since you are family to her… you deserve to know."

Lori felt angry tears stinging her eyes as DM looked up at her earnestly, and said, "Fifi… she was most cross with me when I left that first time in Paris…after my initial mission… but that was ten years ago. I always regretted leaving her for my training. However, I saw her again… two years later… when she was onstage. I was assigned to stop Baron Greenback from capturing her and using her melodious voice for a hypnotic world domination scheme. Well, she was very angry with me, and I took the opportunity… to set the record straight."

"She never told me… all these years she never wrote," Lori, said as she sniffled. If he could have, DM would have pulled a handkerchief from his pocket, yet all he could muster was the twitching of his muscles inside his restraints.

"She always knew you wanted to be a secret agent, like your father, like me," DM said softly. "And she knew that if she kept in touch with you, you'd be lured away by the limelight. You always DID look up to her… when you were a singer… and she knew you'd promised your father you'd go into Intel and be an agent. She thought it was best if she stayed silent, letting you focus all your energies after your accident on becoming one of the BEST secret agents in the world."

"She said that?" asked Lori softly, tears in her eyes. "I never knew. So that's why she never wrote me?"

"Fifi loves you very much," said Danger Mouse. "And I promise you she really wants to speak to you once again at the next opportunity."

"Do you love her?" asked Lori directly, gazing right into that golden eye of his. Odd feat considering her other stared right into the patch covering the opposite eye.

Danger Mouse nodded slowly, and said, "You can imagine what it's like, wanting to have a personal life, and being in the dangerous sort of profession we share. She understands that I can't always see her as much as I'd like. However, I never wanted her to hate me. And I knew that if I didn't take SOME chance to make it right, I'd lose the most precious thing I ever found."

"Are you…" asked the american agent hopefully.

"Yes," Danger Mouse nodded. "And I've never been happier. Granted I can't always SEE her as much as I'd want, but she knows that I'll take whatever time I can give her."

"I'm sorry," Lori said, sniffling. "I'm so sorry Danger Mouse."

"It's quite all right," Danger Mouse nodded, giving an awkward cough. "So, what do you say we get out of these ridiculous gift wrappings, and save the world, together?"

"That's what Fifi would have wanted," she smiled tearfully.

Danger Mouse nodded and they fixed eye contact with one another. It only took an instant to snap out of personal mode into secret agent mode. They trained their respective senses to probe every inch of their prison, their eyes flickering from side to side simultaneously with their ears twitching. The web bobbed up and down with each of M6's muscles flexing. Similarly, DM's muscles glided beneath white teraline as he tugged on his cuffs experimentally. Judging by the resistance, he could tell they were more then ordinary steel. Unfortunately, he could recognize the density of titanium metal.

"Now, I was thinking that TNT is rather a bit close, and that hourglass triggers the detonation. Are you QUITE tied up tightly?"

"Yes," she nodded.

"I'm going to give you a crash course in escapology. I think your course didn't' c over spider webs, so HERE is what you do… move your RIGHT hand to the left a bit… and inhale DEEPLY. Compress your muscles and SLIDE out…"

"Okay DM I'll try," said Lori, holding her breath as Danger Mouse instructed her. She began to wriggle fiercely under his guidance. Very slowly, the fibers gave way with each shift of her undulating body. Experience transmitted through DM's quiet calm instructions, quelling her nervous adrenaline rush.

* * *

"Now you'll learn a NEW definition of pain," laughed Nevermore as Penfold shakily backed Bagel behind him against the wall. Elsewhere in the bowels of Greenback's arctic hideout, the two hamsters felt sweat pouring down their foreheads. Only Penfold's blue suit clad body shielded Bagel from the slender ninja gliding under her black silk costume.

"Ohh blimey!" Penfold groaned, his knees growing weak. Despite his former instinct to protect the girl, his timid nature was rapidly reasserting itself, paralyzing every muscle in his body. He fought hard to resist the urge to faint. Slowly he began to wobble, pitching forwards.

"Penfold, your shoelace is untied," Bagel whispered.

"Cor," he mumbled. As the young hamster ducked, and Nevermore's nunchakas flew overhead. Bagel took the chance to hold up her camera and press the red button quickly. If it worked on crocodiles, why not evil Hench birds? A blinding flash caught the Raven ninja in the face, and Bagel grabbed Penfold's hand as he stood up, glancing in confusion.

"Run!" she cried as she pushed him along.

"Right behind you!" he cried as he raced after her. Running was something he could handle, and he quickly raced to keep up with the other hamster. He had to admit she was a good and fast runner, and would make his fellow cowards anonymous group proud.

Luckily, Stiletto had left the raven to deal with the two assistants, and he was nowhere to be seen. They heard the cursing after them as they raced to the edge of a pit, and Penfold's arms whirled wildly as he teetered on the edge. Bagel stopped, yanking him from falling in.

"Crikey, now what?" he asked, glancing wildly.

"Nowhere to run, Penfold," she stammered. "What will we do?"

"What would DM do?" Penfold wondered. He glanced up to see something hanging over the pit, a large spider web, and a very large and hungry spider licking its fangs as it looked down at both very plump hamsters. Bagel glanced at Penfold, and both hamsters nodded. Slowly the spider descended, and Bagel saw it drop a web towards them.

"Get ready to jump!" she said, and Penfold grabbed her hand as they jumped, and landed right on the web, which became stuck on the edge of the pit. Both hamsters were snared as the net closed, and the spider began to drag the kicking mass of hamsters up to its web.

"If only I had me penknife on me," DM's assistant lamented.

"I've got a nail file," Bagel announced meekly. With the dull tool, she struggled to cut the webs as Penfold shrieked in fear.

The spider slowly reeled its prey in, its eyes glowing red as it focused on Penfold. Bagel managed to cut a few of the sticky strands with her file, and just as the spider was about to glue them both in their web, Penfold's thrashing loosened the already cut fibers. He shrieked as he grabbed wildly at the web and Bagel as she dropped down. His hand caught hold of hers, and they dangled on the web alone.

"Crumbs, don't let go!" he cried.

"I'm trying not to!" she cried as the spider started towards them and the cords dropped to the pit below. "Swing… the web might come loose."

"What?" he asked.

Bagel began to kick her legs back and forth, taking Penfold who was holding her by the hand, with her, and their portion of the web sagged as it leaned to the other side. The spider hissed as it moved after them on eight legs, the web sagging down under the combined weight. Then Bagel swung and jerked down, taking Penfold with her as they dropped. At the last second, she grabbed the edge of the other cliff with her nails digging in as Penfold yelped and clung to her hand.

"Lummi we're going to fall!" he yelped. However, Bagel held firmly, and struggled to claw her way up.

"Climb on my back!" she shouted as she swung him. "It's the only way, it's what DM, and M6 would do!"

"That's right," he said as he caught her around the neck, and she was able to cling with both hands. He scrambled up her back and onto the cliff, grunting as he did so and then grabbed her hands and leaned back hard, pulling her up to safety. Both hamsters panted, gasping as they saw the spider drop into the pit.

"Crikey," he panted. "I'm right beat."

"I'm tired too," she gasped.

"Did I just save you again?" he asked, glasses steaming up.

"Um I think we saved each other," she panted as they climbed to their feet.

"Let's find the chief and your boss," he gasped. "Before anything ELSE nasty happens."

"I'm with you, let's RUN!" she cried as they dashed away as fast as their legs would carry them. Their hands clasped together in their mad dash of terror. Somehow, Penfold thought through his panic, it was nice to have someone to run away with while screaming in fear.

* * *

"That's it, I'm free!" Lori shouted as she slid free of the fibers and crashed to the floor next to DM's stretcher. She had expended so much energy in wriggling from the spider web trap that her muscles ached and screamed in fatigue.

"Good show, now get me free…" he said.

"So tired," Lori gasped as she wriggled over and slowly extended her tail.

The hourglass was almost empty of its top chamber. Danger Mouse glanced down anxiously as agent M6 tried to jimmy the lock with her tail. Only seconds remained as one lock clicked free, and the top band popped open. He reached down and took the lock pick from his pocket to undo the other as Lori slumped next to the table in exhaustion. The last grains of sand were draining as DM picked Lori up in his arms and carried her free of the chamber before the explosions lit up like the fourth of July or Guy Fawkes day.

She panted and came to as DM carried her free, and set her gently down. She looked up at him smudged but alive, and laughed. "That was a close call…"

"Quite a close shave. Well done, Lori," he smiled down at her. "Now… are you quite all right?"

"I'm just so sapped."

"I think I might have a solution, if you'll permit me to carry you there," DM said.

"More British chivalry?" she asked as DM picked her up carefully in his arms and carried her quickly toward the top chamber of the maze.

"Just hold on and enjoy the ride," he urged as he rushed through the last series of traps. Finally, they came to the main door of the Baron's main control room. From inside they heard talking and laughing, and the sounds of villainous triumph.

Lori lifted her tail and managed to pry the lock open. DM shoved the door ajar, and carried her through. Gently he set her down to one side as he tiptoed up to the Baron's desk. Unseen he reached over to grab the bottle of Villain-vite he'd seen there earlier.

* * *

"There's the end of Danger mouse," laughed Cam Eleon Rex to Greenback.

Both raised their glasses of ginger beer in salute, clinking them. Inside the ultramodern lair sheathed in gleaming green and grey metal, they toasted to the defeat of their mutual enemies. Looked on by their hench birds, the toad and the lizard exchanged a volley of villainous laughter, which reverberated in the cold chamber.

"And to a successful business relationship. Our traps together will make this an overnight success. Soon all the villains of the world will come crawling to me…"

"Don't' you mean us?" Cam Elion asked, raising an eyebrow.

"Of course us," said the Baron. "I do apologize."

"You should know by now Greenback there is NO honor among thieves," rang out a familiar English accented voice.

"WHAT… no… it can't be!" gasped Greenback as he whirled around in his chair. Standing there with his arms folded was Danger Mouse himself. "How did you escape?"

_Narrator Isenbard: Good Grief, Danger Mouse and M6 have managed to escape out of the frying pan and into the fire. Will Greenback end up frog's leg fricassee with a side of Chameleon? On the other hand, will the deadly duo pull yet another net over our heroes? Moreover, what of the hapless hamster duo? Stay tuned for the next action packed episode of Danger Mouse!_


	6. Conclusion

Disclaimer: Danger Mouse and characters are property of Cosgrove/Hall productions, and I don't own them. This fiction and the characters of M6 Lori Lamoure and her assistant and other craziness the other side of the pond is my own insanity, property of me, Trynia Merin. This is the revised version as of 7/13/2008

**Two of the Best and Two of the Worst**

Chapter 5

By Trynia Merin

* * *

_Opening Theme, as usual._

_Danger Mouse, Danger Mouse… DANGERMOUSE…._

_When the bomb explodes over the logo, the title card is seen, with the following logo:_** Two of the Best and Two of the Worst, **Conclusion

_Narrator: In our last episode, Agent M6 and Danger Mouse were both captured by the patented Agent Snare, the evil creation of Baron Greenback and his new ally, Cam Elion-Rex. Although they managed to escape after a fierce argument, the sheer effort needed sapped M6 of her vaunted strength. However, as Greenback and Cam Elion-Rex saw to their dismay, the White Wonder was not trounced. Nevertheless, does this mean Danger Mouse must save the day alone?_

Standing there with his arms folded was Danger Mouse himself. "How did you escape?"

"Surely you must know better by now then to ask such foolish questions," Danger Mouse said, holding up one finger as he strode up.

"But I saw you explode," the Baron stammered as he backed away, in his chair, Nero's eyes wide as his pet perched on his shoulder. He depressed a button on his console while Danger Mouse advanced.

"The rumors of my death were highly exaggerated," announced Danger Mouse, folding his arms across his white suited chest. "And now you're under arrest."

"I think not," Greenback laughed. Suddenly the wall moved and Danger Mouse felt someone grab him from behind.

"Let me go," he gasped as Cam Elion held him firmly pinioned with great strength.

"A little demonstration of villain vite," laughed Cam Elion. "One of my other patented evil inventions."

"I think that will be the NEXT product I market," Greenback laughed.

"You think you've won?" Danger Mouse asked slowly as he struggled. "But I say think again…"

"You always DO have a million of those lines," Greenback tisked. "Even now your assistant is doomed…"

"Guess again, slimy," said another voice as a white blur sailed over his head, and suddenly clapped a pair of cuffs on Baron Greenback's hands.

"What… you…" he stammered as she shackled him to the chair.

"Stay a while…" she smiled proudly, glancing at Danger Mouse.

"You can't be…" Cam Elion gasped.

"Oh she can," laughed DM. He ducked and wriggled out of the chameleon's gropes, before flinging his captor over his head with a well-placed judo toss. He landed against the Baron, groaning as stars and planets whirled around his head, and Lori snapped a pair of cuffs on him as well.

"The game's over Greenback and Chameleon," she said proudly.

"Well said," Danger Mouse nodded as he walked up. "And you've lost…."

"Curses," Baron Greenback groaned as he rubbed his aching head from where his new business partner had landed against it. "But you haven't won yet…"

"Don't be so sure," said the two agents, but then suddenly the Baron's desk dropped through a hole in the floor, taking both villains with it. Danger Mouse managed to knock Lori out of the way before she too fell into the trap door. They heard Greenback's laughter echoing as they vanished and made their escape.

"RATS!" Lori cursed as she let Danger Mouse help her to her feet. "Lost him again!"

"You get used to it after a while," Danger Mouse nodded with a slow shake of his head. "But wherever evil plots, good will defeat it!"

"You got that right DM," she nodded. "Now… where ARE our assistants?"

Resembling bookends both heroes stood in the exact same pose; hands resting on their hips with feet placed apart at the width of their shoulders. Their shadows angled slightly to the left under the high lights in the Baron's now abandoned control chamber. Distant footsteps grew steadily louder, and they exchanged a glance of understanding. DM smiled first, knowing from the gait just who was about to enter.

They heard the sound of two hamsters running wildly as they burst in through the door. Both panted as they glanced left and right, and saw Danger Mouse and M6 standing there, before a trap door. Turning his head Dm gasped, "Penfold! Good grief, you're all right…"

"Chief, there you are!" Penfold shouted as he rushed up and threw himself into Danger Mouse's arms. The little hamster all but tackled his boss as he hugged him hard.

"Bagel, where were you?" Lori asked as she dropped to one knee, and her friend rushed up. Bagel wrapped her arms around Lori's neck as she hugged her tightly and the two friends rocked, patting one another's backs as they were reunited.

"I was so worried, you wouldn't' believe…" Bagel chattered.

"It was awful DM," Penfold said as Danger Mouse set him down again, and patiently listened to his assistant ramble on about his misadventures.

"Steady on Penfold, we're British, remember!" he said with a laugh. "It's good to see you again… but we must restrain ourselves from emotional outbursts…"

"Oh 'eck," Penfold mumbled. Behind his thick glasses, he rolled his eyes.

"Like us Americans?" Lori laughed as she let go of her friend and the two teams looked at one another.

"You're not mad at him anymore are you?" asked Bagel as she held her friend's hand and saw Penfold shyly hiding behind Danger Mouse.

"Not at all," M6 smiled. "Come to think of it, let's all just go home…"

"But the Gail VI is all wrecked," said Bagel. "Isn't it?"

"Darn," Lori groaned.

"If you'll allow us to see you home, I'll see that Colonel K's boffins put her to rights," Danger Mouse offered as he pressed his wristwatch, and the Mark III crashed through the window, pulling into the hideout.

"But it's only a two seater," Lori laughed.

"Observe," DM said, as he depressed another switch on his watch, and the Mark III suddenly lengthened with a back seat. "I had the boffins install a backseat extension…"

"Shall we?" Lori asked Bagel as DM opened the back door, and they both climbed in. The White Wonder leapt into the driver's seat, and Penfold scrambled into the seat next to him. Pressing the button for flight, DM fired up the Mark III to take them back to London.

* * *

The Mark III, bearing Danger Mouse, Penfold and their 2 corresponding American agents landed and they entered the pillar-box in Mayfair without further incident. None had said much during the ride back, except Danger Mouse had placed a call to the local authorities to round up the remains of the Baron and Eleon-Rex's horrible inventions. It was up to them to make certain they could never be used for nefarious purposes again.

All of the respective Hench animals had fled, and the Frog's Head Flier was nowhere to be found. Danger Mouse also posted a call to Colonel K to inform him that the Baron had been thwarted and to detach a crew to retrieve M6's disabled vehicle. He assured Lori that it would be repaired forthwith.

When they sat in the Mayfair pillar-box, Penfold had made a fresh pot of tea, and gotten out some bread and butter with various other accoutrements from the well-stocked larder for tea. This was a new concept for Lori, but not unheard of for Bagel, who had quickly sprung into action helping the other assistant in the kitchen in making her specialty, some of her mother's famous chicken soup. Lori watched as Danger Mouse received the call from Colonel K for the final wrap up of the mission.

"All in all a job well done," Colonel K said as Danger Mouse and Lori Agent M6 stood on respective sides of the view screen. "A cracking good partnership between British and American secret service. That'll show them what."

"Have you heard from JP? I need to contact him," said Lori.

"Already been in touch. He's so impressed by your performance that he's recommending that you remain in England with your assistant, in a special training program. Sort of a brain exchange with the boffins and new recruits as to the way the Americans do things."

"If it's all the same, I wouldn't mind going home," Lori nodded.

"That and the matter of the motorcar. JP said that until it's repaired, you're stuck here. Also, our master of disguise Agent 57 reported he saw the Frogs Head Flier heading somewhere up north around Scotland. Best guess is that they're still in cahoots."

"So in other words, since he's still at large, we need to continue the collaboration?" asked Lori.

"You're the expert on Cam Eleon's schemes," said Danger Mouse. "Who better to help us track them down and stop them once and for all?"

"So I'm here?" Lori asked.

"You've been reassigned to teach the new recruits the latest in American agent techniques," said the Colonel. "Congratulations and good luck. Of course, DM, you'll be the main liaison. We WILL provide a place for you and your assistant to remain in London while you're assignment lasts."

"What sort of place?" asked Lori.

"Well we're attempting to fix that up for you," DM's control agent admitted, scratching his balding head.

"She can remain here as my guest temporarily, granted that is all right with you sir," said Danger Mouse. "There are a few things that still need to be mopped up."

"You sure you wouldn't mind an American house guest?" Lori asked him.

"Provided it's a temporary basis," Danger Mouse couldn't resist adding in his usual dry sense of humor.

"Jolly good show DM. I'll keep you informed on your temporary quarters, and do report to the Intel HQ promptly tomorrow morning for your first lecture M6… with your assistant. Colonel K out."

Again, the screen buzzed, and Bagel entered with a plate of bread and butter, not to mention chocolate chip cookies, an American specialty. "My mom's recipe," she said, setting them down as the two mouse agents settled on the circular sofa.

"So you're stuck with us for a while, eh?" asked Lori.

"Could be worse," Danger Mouse said. "At least we know WHAT to expect from the pair of you ladies. The last time I had almost all of Penfold's relatives here at short notice… I couldn't' get a wink of sleep for weeks!"

"Hey," Penfold said indignantly. "Just because my Auntie enjoyed her music."

"Penfold shush," the White Wonder sighed. "Any way, you're welcome to stay provided it's not… er awkward."

"For you British people ANYTHING involving strong emotion is awkward," Bagel retorted as Penfold poured out the tea for him and his boss. He looked rather silly in the frilly apron, while Bagel stood leaning against the wall once she'd distributed the cookies and handed Lori a cup of hot coffee, instant, taking one cup for herself…"

"And there's another reason. Apparently your information was misconstrued, concerning a certain matter, which is only partially resolved," Danger Mouse said with as discreet a cough as possible as he regarded Lori, sitting across the circular in-ground sofa from himself.

"There 'e goes again about her," Penfold whispered to Bagel, who was sitting by Lori as he set a plate of cucumber sandwiches by her, and sneaked a couple of her homemade chocolate chip cookies for himself. "Remind me to tell you about that sometime. It's VERY interesting."

"Penfold, REALLY," The White Wonder rolled his eyes. "You KNOW I can hear you from over here."

"You want us to bugger off then, right Chief," Penfold mumbled. "Oh 'eck."

"Don't we have two guest bedrooms to make ready for our visitors?" asked Danger Mouse. "As I recall I did the laundry when your COUSINS were over last month…"

"All right, all right, I think he gets the message," Bagel laughed. "C'mon, show me the secret of how you get the linens so white. Is it bleach or something else?"

"Bleach?" Penfold looked scandalized. "Lummy no! It'd be Wonder White."

"Wonder white for the white wonder?" laughed Bagel as Lori and Danger Mouse shoed them both out of the room. "You British are crazy! I use Whammo soap powder."

"Do you two MIND?" Danger Mouse asked, and glanced helplessly at Lori.

"Bagel, go find something to do, we're talking shop," said Lori. "Chapter 10 of my biography needs writing, and maybe DM's pal can show you the best place in London to get those pictures developed."

"Whatever," Bagel rolled her eyes and dashed off after Penfold, who was disappearing back into the kitchen. Leaving both agents sitting there finishing their tea.

"Now, what was this about finishing my lack of information?" Lori asked. "Something about you having kept in touch with her, and me speaking to her at the next possible opportunity?"

"Well since you ARE sticking about for a while, there IS a concert upcoming at the Albert Hall," Danger Mouse passed her the Daily Mirror. "And I took the liberty of procuring tickets for myself and Penfold because I am hem… well acquainted with the singer… and considering you ARE family to the party involved."

"Go on, say it, you're dating my cousin, it's okay I'm cool with it now," Lori chuckled because Danger Mouse was still trying to be as private as possible and she guessed it was because Penfold might be surreptitiously listening behind some corner. She nodded, and picked up the paper with a smile.

"So you've got a DATE with her?" she asked him slowly.

"Hem, I trust you CAN be discreet, as can your assistant?"

"She'll keep her mouth shut," smiled Lori. "And I think there's a certain reason for that."

"What exactly?" asked Danger Mouse slowly, sipping his tea and eating a piece of biscuit with marmalade on it.

"She doesn't discuss Whammo Soap powder with just anyone," said Lori. "Three guesses."

"Ah, point taken," Danger Mouse said slowly. "Hmm I have to admit these chocolate chip biscuits are QUITE tasty. If my agent's reasoning is functioning, and it is most certainly, I think you and I aren't the only ones who will end up needing to talk about certain matters regarding your cousin's concert… It's quite extraordinary. I haven't seen the boy this excited since he came back from the Barry Manilow concert."

"Then he's not in the habit of staring oddly at the way other assistants make cookies?" Lori teased.

"Hmm, quite extraordinary. I believe you and I will have to keep close watch and be provided to give advice on certain notice," Danger Mouse said meaningfully as he saw Penfold showing Bagel the best techniques for removing explosion stains from DM's uniforms.

"Club soda gets ANYTHING out," Bagel said to Penfold.

"Go on," he said. "I soak them in Wonder White… and baking soda."

"Chaperones at the concert?" asked Lori. "And what incentive do I have? I'm only thankful Bagel's Bubbe isn't here hounding me about finding the right mouse."

"I do have someone in mind for you as well as a date for the concert Saturday evening," Danger Mouse said slowly, stroking his ear thoughtfully. "If you wouldn't be insulted by my offering to set you up, whilst I attend to my long overdue date with your cousin this Saturday… after you and she have your… reunion."

"Uh oh, should I be worried?" Lori asked.

Danger Mouse chuckled and folded his arms across his chest, giving her look like a mischievous brother would when setting his best friend up with his sister. She was beginning to see him like the big brother she always wanted but never had. There could be much she could learn from the White Wonder. Moreover, she had 10 years of girl talk to catch up Fifi on!

_Narrator Isenbard: Is this the beginning of a new friendship, or something more? Will Penfold get over his schoolboy crush and what new adventures will our heroes face now that some rather… hem personal things have been revealed? Stay tuned for the next adventure of DANGER MOUSE!_


End file.
